North Korea Detonates 40 Years Of GDP

Remains Of Country’s Economy Sent Deep Into Earth’s Core

For a bit of light relief, visit the Onion. Here’s a representative extract.

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — A press release issued by the state-run Korean Central News Agency Monday confirmed that the Oct. 9 underground nuclear test in North Korea’s Yanggang province successfully exploded the communist nation’s total gross domestic product for the past four decades.

North Korea’s announcement would appear to support the CIA’s intelligence information on the blast. According to the CIA, over 500 tons of compressed purchasing power, the equivalent of 40 years of goods and services produced by the impoverished country, vaporized in 560 billionths of one second. The device consumed 15 years of peasant wages’ worth of uranium, two decades of agricultural- and fishery-export profits’ worth for its above-ground emplacement tower, and the lifetime earnings of the entire workforce of the Kilchu fish-canning factory for tungsten/carbide-steel bomb casings.

Read the full report here.

The BBC has more sober thoughts on the food situation in the North.

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