You couldn’t make this up. Or maybe you could and they did. Even though I suspect it’s a fake front page posted online to make people go out and hunt down the paper itself (which I would do if it weren’t so cold outside), it’s still too good not to share.
Thanks to Paul Matthews for spotting this gem (also to be found on the Sport‘s Twitter feed).

Thanks to 앤서방 for pointing out other fun stories in the Sport:
This one from January 2016…
…this unsavoury piece from April 2015…
…this from July 2015…
…and this from August 2014.